Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Mr. Wrong: this is why I didn't respond to your dating profile

1. Your photo(s):

Kudos for even posting one! However either your face is obscured by large sunglasses or you are merely a speck in the distance, and you can't be seen. Fail.

Your photo features one or more previous girlfriends. Classy, dude.

The photo is obviously very old, evidenced by the dated 80's haircut or popped collar.

You looked pissed off in your photo...what are you going to be like on the date???

You have five zillion photos of yourself that would literally take me hours to browse. Sorry but I'm too busy for that.

2. Your opening line:

Here are a few 'First Impression Fails' that kept me clicking past:

"I need to work on my abs"
"Sorry ladies. I'm a Eunuch...lol"
"No Games!"
"I don't know what I'm doing"
"Looking for my lost shaker of salt"
"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN BRAD PITT... WELL I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HIM"

3. You can't spell:

(Sorry if this seems like I'm picking gnat s**t out of pepper, but it's a BIG peeve of mine)

"funny loveing and careing helpful open mind outgoing good senes of herumy likes the outdoors swim relax at cottage in front of fireplaces or have a coffe on the dock watch the sun set..."

4. You are negative and/or yelling at me:

"I AM NOT INTO HEAD GAMES. I AM LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO IS STRAIGHTFORWARD AND NOT AFRAID TO SPEAK HER MIND. AT THE SAME TIME, SHE SHOULD BE SWEET, KIND, LOVING AND GENTLE. I HOPE I AM NOT ASKING FOR TOO MUCH."

"These sites are crazy...so many people looking for the right person and I often wonder if those searching are serious at all. "

"THIS IS QUITE A PROCESS. TO TRY AND SELL YOURSELF. I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM BEING AUCTIONED OFF ON E-BAY, OR ONE OF THOSE INFORMERCIALS ON TV."

"Looking for someone normal.Good head on thier shoulders.No control freaks...Laid back and relaxed, but not lazy."

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