My Match profile has now been viewed almost 200 times, and no new potentials to show for it.
Today I let the science professor go, as he doesn't have the means to travel to see me and I'm at the point where I had to admit I wasn't all that interested in him anyway. One of The Rules states to admit when you need to cut bait, because it's not fair to lead someone on if you really aren't that into him. I feel good about the decision.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Travelling Daters
My Lava candidate, B, has just sent me SEM #3 (Stupid Email Message), to which I replied as per Rule #5. It consisted of two lines with no signoff or signature, which is a format he seems to favour. He has been in South America for the past ten days and is returning home tomorrow. This is the second travelling dater I have been in contact with, and I'm wondering if there's a trend here. Are men more likely to use online dating sites when they are on the road?
At this point I have no idea whatsoever how serious he is. His emails are quite bizarre...
Message #1
You pic is nice - I'm looking for a golf buddy (seriously) - do you play often? What better way to get to know someone than over 18 holes - yes? Please check out my profile - if you're interested drop me a line.
B
My Response
Hi B,
I agree that a round of golf would be a great way to get to know someone. I haven't been out yet this season, and I'm dying to shake off the cobwebs, just been too busy! Gonna try to hit the driving range today - it's gorgeous outside!
Cheers,
C
Message #2
Did you get to the range?
My Response
LOL no! Got caught up on some much needed yardwork!
Message #3
I heard its really nice at home right now - I am in Lima. Have been in Peru for about 10 days - leaving tonight.
My Response
Temps are going to hit record highs this week they say. It's quite fantastic. Looking forward to some patio time!
My other traveller, O, the science professor on a business trip in California, is also home now and has reached out to me again after my silence after his last SEM. He wants to get together when I am in his area (read: he has no intention of putting in any effort to travel to see me). I live about an hour away in the suburbs, and he is in the city. I have to think about this one. It actually puts the ball in my court in that I have to call him to tell him when I'm going to be in Toronto and ask to meet. That dog don't hunt. He must be the one to take the lead on this. I think I'll wait a bit and then reply that I would be interested in meeting, but I won't offer anything further and see how he responds.
At this point I have no idea whatsoever how serious he is. His emails are quite bizarre...
Message #1
You pic is nice - I'm looking for a golf buddy (seriously) - do you play often? What better way to get to know someone than over 18 holes - yes? Please check out my profile - if you're interested drop me a line.
B
My Response
Hi B,
I agree that a round of golf would be a great way to get to know someone. I haven't been out yet this season, and I'm dying to shake off the cobwebs, just been too busy! Gonna try to hit the driving range today - it's gorgeous outside!
Cheers,
C
Message #2
Did you get to the range?
My Response
LOL no! Got caught up on some much needed yardwork!
Message #3
I heard its really nice at home right now - I am in Lima. Have been in Peru for about 10 days - leaving tonight.
My Response
Temps are going to hit record highs this week they say. It's quite fantastic. Looking forward to some patio time!
My other traveller, O, the science professor on a business trip in California, is also home now and has reached out to me again after my silence after his last SEM. He wants to get together when I am in his area (read: he has no intention of putting in any effort to travel to see me). I live about an hour away in the suburbs, and he is in the city. I have to think about this one. It actually puts the ball in my court in that I have to call him to tell him when I'm going to be in Toronto and ask to meet. That dog don't hunt. He must be the one to take the lead on this. I think I'll wait a bit and then reply that I would be interested in meeting, but I won't offer anything further and see how he responds.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The art of communication...
...is completely lost on some people.
Today I got a text message from one of the guys I met at the whiskey tasting I was at over the weekend. I was driving when I got it so I wasn't able to respond:
Hey C, it's D. What did you get up to the rest of the weekend?
Now there is one thing The Rules don't mention, and that's text messages. It's not really like an IM, because they can't tell if you're online. It's not like an email, in that you're mobile when you receive it, so you don't have to be at a computer or Blackberry.
What's a Rules Girl to do???
Well I've decided that I'm just going to ignore it. I really don't have time to respond right now anyway, as I've got to update my blog, go for a walk before sundown, and then get my lunch ready for tomorrow. You see I'm just too busy! He might have better luck if he were to call me live as I would be much more likely to stop what I'm doing and answer my phone. Oh well...guess he loses! I wonder if he will give up that easily or try to reach me another way?
My interesting Lava candidate, B, responded ridiculously to the email thread he started:
Did you get to the driving range?
That's it? Seriously?
My answer, equally succinct, was to mention that I ended up getting caught up in yard work instead. That's two wasted exchanges so far. One more exchange is all he gets and then - silence. Unless in his next message he asks to meet.
Hope is fading...
Today I got a text message from one of the guys I met at the whiskey tasting I was at over the weekend. I was driving when I got it so I wasn't able to respond:
Hey C, it's D. What did you get up to the rest of the weekend?
Now there is one thing The Rules don't mention, and that's text messages. It's not really like an IM, because they can't tell if you're online. It's not like an email, in that you're mobile when you receive it, so you don't have to be at a computer or Blackberry.
What's a Rules Girl to do???
Well I've decided that I'm just going to ignore it. I really don't have time to respond right now anyway, as I've got to update my blog, go for a walk before sundown, and then get my lunch ready for tomorrow. You see I'm just too busy! He might have better luck if he were to call me live as I would be much more likely to stop what I'm doing and answer my phone. Oh well...guess he loses! I wonder if he will give up that easily or try to reach me another way?
My interesting Lava candidate, B, responded ridiculously to the email thread he started:
Did you get to the driving range?
That's it? Seriously?
My answer, equally succinct, was to mention that I ended up getting caught up in yard work instead. That's two wasted exchanges so far. One more exchange is all he gets and then - silence. Unless in his next message he asks to meet.
Hope is fading...
Monday, May 24, 2010
All's Quiet on the Dating Site Front
Checked in on Match today and deleted a bunch of winks so I won't be tempted to reach out to those men. Nothing new to report there other than my profile views are now up to 157.
Went onto Lavalife and returned the email from B making sure it was as brief and light as his message to me was. No new emails came in, although my profile has been viewed a few more times. I'm up to about 54 I think. Thought I'd login to The Party to see who is online and make myself more visible. Got about 17 people to turn their heads, but only 4 made contact by 'smiling'.
Meh...I'm going out for a walk. It's too beautiful outside to be wasting the day on the internet anyway.
Went onto Lavalife and returned the email from B making sure it was as brief and light as his message to me was. No new emails came in, although my profile has been viewed a few more times. I'm up to about 54 I think. Thought I'd login to The Party to see who is online and make myself more visible. Got about 17 people to turn their heads, but only 4 made contact by 'smiling'.
Meh...I'm going out for a walk. It's too beautiful outside to be wasting the day on the internet anyway.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Whiskey (tasting gone) Sour
Thinking it would be a lark, and possibly an avenue through which we might meet some interesting eligible men, K and I signed up for a singles whiskey tasting event this weekend through Meet Market Adventures. The event was described as such:
There were about 6 men and 14 women (the typical ratio at a MME event), so the MME host, Shelley (an annoyingly loud, gum-chomping bimbo), snagged a few men who had come to the bar for a drink after the FC game, to join in. This was an epic fail, however, as it turned out these men were all spoken for. In addition, she charged these men only $20 for the two shots (we paid twice that)!
In the end, K and I only were able to meet two of the singles at the event, both of which were texting on their Blackberrys all night long. We paid $40+tax each - a ripoff if there ever was one. We expressed our thoughts quite frankly on our feedback forms, but neither of us will attend one of these events again.
"Our Steward, will introduce us to several different types of Whiskey as we learn the difference between Irish, Scotch and Bourbon varietals. He will also introduce us to the various distilling techniques, methods of maturation and cask types that make up each unique spirit.The instruction consisted of a brief lecture at the beginning describing the difference between Whiskey, Bourbon and Scotch (our steward admitted to not knowing jack about Irish Whiskey). Then we were given just two samples of Scotch (barely an ounce each) to taste...nothing more. There was no discussion whatsoever on the characteristics of the two varietals (Ballantine's - blended, and 12-yr-old Macallan - single malt), other than the casual opinions we Scotch amateurs made amongst ourselves, and we didn't get any chocolate, nuts or fruit with which to pair them. The event was held at Prohibition, a bar on the outskirts of the Riverdale area, and we were seated in a room at various tables, so there was no mingling. Everyone kept to the cliques they formed at the beginning of the evening.
As we make our way through each sample, we’ll discuss the characteristics of this popular spirit, such as it’s intensity, whether it’s floral or peaty or any other myriad of smells or tastes, it’s colour and so much more. In addition to this, we will also experience the differences in flavour when being paired with such treats as chocolate, nuts and fruit."
There were about 6 men and 14 women (the typical ratio at a MME event), so the MME host, Shelley (an annoyingly loud, gum-chomping bimbo), snagged a few men who had come to the bar for a drink after the FC game, to join in. This was an epic fail, however, as it turned out these men were all spoken for. In addition, she charged these men only $20 for the two shots (we paid twice that)!
In the end, K and I only were able to meet two of the singles at the event, both of which were texting on their Blackberrys all night long. We paid $40+tax each - a ripoff if there ever was one. We expressed our thoughts quite frankly on our feedback forms, but neither of us will attend one of these events again.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
My name is C...and I'm a dataholic
OK so I caved and put up a profile on Lavalife too after being disappointed in the calibre and variety of matches I was getting on Match. The site is way different since the last time I was actively eDating, and I'm not sure how crazy I am about the new format. However I'm staying objective.
My only active suitor on Match is the Scientist currently in California on business. We have exchanged the maximum number of emails at this point, and I am not expecting any developments to happen as things now stand, but we shall see.
My Lava profile has been viewed 20 times already and I have one email message from someone rather interesting! He works in film and television and seems to have a pretty fascinating lifestyle. I won't be able to get back to him until Monday now as I don't log onto dating sites from Friday evening until Sunday evening. However this being a holiday weekend I plan on being busy right up until Monday.
Have a great May 2-4!
My only active suitor on Match is the Scientist currently in California on business. We have exchanged the maximum number of emails at this point, and I am not expecting any developments to happen as things now stand, but we shall see.
My Lava profile has been viewed 20 times already and I have one email message from someone rather interesting! He works in film and television and seems to have a pretty fascinating lifestyle. I won't be able to get back to him until Monday now as I don't log onto dating sites from Friday evening until Sunday evening. However this being a holiday weekend I plan on being busy right up until Monday.
Have a great May 2-4!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Mr. Cerebral emailed me for the third time today, and no mention of us meeting in person or getting together. He is in California right now, but that doesn't mean he can't book a date for when he returns. It's looking like he is only after a pen pal, or passing time because he has nothing else to do while he cooling his heels at the hotel between business meetings.
I'm going to wait 48 hours to reply to his last email, and then I won't be responding to any further messages unless there is a request for a get together. Let's see where the chips fall.
One of the people I didn't let go yesterday, J, asked me out in his second email. He has only been in Canada for 3 years, but seems more motived. The only thing that was odd is that he wanted me to decide on where and when we meet instead of making the arrangements, so I have to wonder about his agenda. I turned the tables back and told him what part of the city I worked and that he could meet me somewhere in the vicinity after work one day, and didn't hear back.
Seeing that there are no other eligible bachelors to consider at this time, I may not have much to blog about in the coming days. I'm not too impressed thus far with the suitors I've encountered to date on Match. Last time I was registered there were lots more candidates than now. Not sure why? I may just resurrect my Lavalife profile too to see if there are any viables on that site.
Total profile views: 112
I'm going to wait 48 hours to reply to his last email, and then I won't be responding to any further messages unless there is a request for a get together. Let's see where the chips fall.
One of the people I didn't let go yesterday, J, asked me out in his second email. He has only been in Canada for 3 years, but seems more motived. The only thing that was odd is that he wanted me to decide on where and when we meet instead of making the arrangements, so I have to wonder about his agenda. I turned the tables back and told him what part of the city I worked and that he could meet me somewhere in the vicinity after work one day, and didn't hear back.
Seeing that there are no other eligible bachelors to consider at this time, I may not have much to blog about in the coming days. I'm not too impressed thus far with the suitors I've encountered to date on Match. Last time I was registered there were lots more candidates than now. Not sure why? I may just resurrect my Lavalife profile too to see if there are any viables on that site.
Total profile views: 112
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Breaking some hearts
I decided today to let a couple suitors go as gently as possible. Zack was one of the two Canadian newcomers that had approached me, but instead of asking me out this fellow seemed content to simply communicate endlessly via email and would send me these long, drawn out shaggy dog stories about how much he wants to find a soul mate and to tell her those all-important three words every day. The other bachelor who didn't make the cut was The Redneck. I know, I know...I agonized a long time over that one!
I received email #2 from Mr. Cerebral. He is a scientist currently out of town on business. He informed me that I didn't have enough information in my profile, and could I please answer some questions, which he then proceeded to ask. I graciously obliged, however I plan on replying to just one last email message, after which if he does not ask to meet me that will be the end of the thread.
Total profile view thus far: 91
I received email #2 from Mr. Cerebral. He is a scientist currently out of town on business. He informed me that I didn't have enough information in my profile, and could I please answer some questions, which he then proceeded to ask. I graciously obliged, however I plan on replying to just one last email message, after which if he does not ask to meet me that will be the end of the thread.
Total profile view thus far: 91
Monday, May 17, 2010
Keeping an open mind...
Despite the fact that my profile clearly states I am looking for men between 39 and 45, I'm getting approached by much older men, like J, a newcomer to Canada with very broken English. He emailed me Saturday, I replied yesterday as per the email response interval rule (24 hrs), and in his second email to me he asked me out for a 15-minute coffee - a very small commitment. I'm trying to stay objective and not pre-judge, so I responded saying I would go. Stay tuned for those details.
And speaking of broken English: I don't have a problem with a newcomer struggling with his language skills, but when an American whose native language is English emails me and can't spell to save his life, let alone string a sentence together, I get turned off. Here is an unedited exerpt from his last communication:
And speaking of broken English: I don't have a problem with a newcomer struggling with his language skills, but when an American whose native language is English emails me and can't spell to save his life, let alone string a sentence together, I get turned off. Here is an unedited exerpt from his last communication:
Oh, and did I mention that 2 out of 3 of the profile pics he posted are of him in the same white 'beater'. Why do I always attract the rednecks???...you are very prety its your moms falt. iam very greatfull for everything i got to. i love life.ther are so many things i like to do...
Sunday, May 16, 2010
So far...so good
I registered on Match.com (a site that I have previously patronized with which I am comfortable) and enabled my profile. Almost immediately I received four 'winks', but I do not respond to those. For the uninitiated, 'winks' (or smiles, as they are sometimes called on other dating sites) are things that you receive when someone who sees your profile wants to say HI. However as it takes virtually no effort to send a wink, I do not take them seriously or respond to them. If a man is serious about wanting to get to know me, he will send me an email.
Another problem I have with winks is that more often than not they are sent by someone who is not a paid member. Many sites have it set up so that in order to communicate you must pay a membership fee. Those who pay the fee are generally much more serious than those who do not (read: "browsers'). It is important to weed out the browsers, or timewasters, so you can focus more on the serious people. An excellent example of this happened to me when I tried my luck on eHarmony a couple of years ago when I was previously eDating. I was a paid member for three months and was able to count on one hand the emails I received in that time. The site was full of 'dead profiles' and unpaid members that couldn't communicate with me because they had not paid the membership fee!
Another problem I have with winks is that more often than not they are sent by someone who is not a paid member. Many sites have it set up so that in order to communicate you must pay a membership fee. Those who pay the fee are generally much more serious than those who do not (read: "browsers'). It is important to weed out the browsers, or timewasters, so you can focus more on the serious people. An excellent example of this happened to me when I tried my luck on eHarmony a couple of years ago when I was previously eDating. I was a paid member for three months and was able to count on one hand the emails I received in that time. The site was full of 'dead profiles' and unpaid members that couldn't communicate with me because they had not paid the membership fee!
Intro: The reason for Single Files
Hello, and thank you for stopping by!
The purpose of this blog is to document my experiences in the Dating Game, as I have made the decision to put myself back on the market after over two years of (blissful) singledom. I thought that it might be fun to blog about my experiences, and informative in the event that anyone out there in cyberspace might be interested in reading about them. In addition I find that writing helps clear the mind allowing one to see things in a different light.
Truth be told I have kept journals since I was a very young girl.
I realize this is not a novel blog idea, and that it has likely been done hundreds of times before, however I plan on doing this with all seriousness, and closely following The Rules as I go. I want to prove to myself, and others, that lasting happiness in a relationship IS possible as long as you play the game correctly. Sorry folks...if I've learned anything in my forty years, it's that it is a game...as much as we all hate to admit it.
My ultimate objective is to find my ideal life partner/significant other/soul mate without having to 'settle'. I plan on taking however long it takes to make this happen using all the patience, determination and serenity I can muster.
For those of you who aren't savvy, there are 25 Rules for Online Dating...
The purpose of this blog is to document my experiences in the Dating Game, as I have made the decision to put myself back on the market after over two years of (blissful) singledom. I thought that it might be fun to blog about my experiences, and informative in the event that anyone out there in cyberspace might be interested in reading about them. In addition I find that writing helps clear the mind allowing one to see things in a different light.
Truth be told I have kept journals since I was a very young girl.
I realize this is not a novel blog idea, and that it has likely been done hundreds of times before, however I plan on doing this with all seriousness, and closely following The Rules as I go. I want to prove to myself, and others, that lasting happiness in a relationship IS possible as long as you play the game correctly. Sorry folks...if I've learned anything in my forty years, it's that it is a game...as much as we all hate to admit it.
My ultimate objective is to find my ideal life partner/significant other/soul mate without having to 'settle'. I plan on taking however long it takes to make this happen using all the patience, determination and serenity I can muster.
For those of you who aren't savvy, there are 25 Rules for Online Dating...
- Don't answer men's ads or email them first
- Create a good screen name
- Less is more when writing your ad
- Post a smiling photo
- Wait 24 hours to respond
- Don't answer on weekends or holidays
- Write light and breezy emails
- Block yourself from instant messages
- Rules for chat rooms
- Don't volunteer your phone number first
- If he doesn't ask you out within four emails, delete/next!
- Screen out Mr. Wrong
- Don't waste your time on timewasters
- Don't force the relationship from email to phone
- Put safety first
- Don't ad-interrogate on dates
- Don't have sex on dates one, two or three
- 'Disappear' in between dates
- Keep your ad up until you are exclusive
- Don't get caught up in online fantasy relationships
- Never date a married man, even online
- Don't ruin your real-life relationship over on online flirtation
- Don't be jealous of non-Rules Girls online
- Journal your online dating experiences
- Don't break or bend The Rules online - even a little bit
Wish me luck!
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