"So-and-So wants to meet you"...not

On POF they have a feature called Meet Me that functions and looks a lot like 'Hot or Not'.  Members can view the profile photo of a man or woman and select Yes, No, or Maybe to whether or not they would like to meet that person.  If you choose Yes or Maybe the person in question then receives a notification that So-and-So would like to meet them.

POF tells you that if you spend some time going through and selecting people you'd like to meet it can render better matches to your profile based on your choices, so I went through a few profiles.  Not wanting to appear too interested I refrained from selecting Yes to any of them, opting instead for Maybe.  Then I heard from a couple of these guys, which is how I learned that choosing Maybe is the same as choosing Yes.

To-date there are 125 men that want to 'meet' me...yet not a single one of them have bothered to reach out to me to ask me for a coffee.  So basically it's just a low effort function that allows men an alternative way of interacting passively with women without having to muster up the stones to actually send her a message.

If So-and-So really wants to meet with me and get to know me better, he will find his balls and contact me.  I refuse to be pressured into initiating conversation with a pussy who is afraid to make the first move.

Hmm...plenty of fish, you say?

However I realize this most likely means I will spend many more Saturday nights at home with my cat.

if you don't look like your picture chances are I will be drinking heavily until you do

Ah the joys of dating in a virtual world where we can pretend to be whomever we want!

About two months ago I decided to jump back into the game and created a profile on Plenty of Fish - a site I'd never been on before.  A few of my friends had profiles on this site and were urging me to get on there and try my luck for another round.  With significant reservation, albeit a strong desire to meet someone, I relented.

Not surprisingly I've been only handling messages from men who just want to chat, but have no desire to take things offline and actually meet in person.  Of those who did want to meet, most of them were outside my race (although POF doesn't allow you to opt towards a specific nationality I'm only looking for white males) and desperate to find a mate.  Trying to keep an open mind I went for coffee with a couple of these fellows, only to have a boring and awkward meeting during which absolutely no sparks flew and I couldn't wait for it to end.

I did manage to snag a half-decent white guy for two dates, but he stopped contacting me when it looked like things were going really well.  Par for the course it seems!

why you'll never get a response from me to your online dating profile

Because of your main profile photo, you idiot...

...and another thing

Yesterday was also my sis-in-law's birthday. She's my ex-husband's sister and lives at the other end of the country, so we're not best friends or anything. However we are Facebook friends, and I didn't post birthday wishes on her wall on principle; she has a husband of 20 years who is still deeply in love with her and professed his feelings on FB for all to see. Men like that are a dying breed, and I'm pretty sure she snagged the last one.

I hate her.

Reason #1 - Why I'm Single

It's Friday night and I'm at home. The end.

Turning Japanese

Behold I have discovered the Secret to attracting a single white male in the city of Toronto...all I have to do is change my race to ASIAN.

Seriously. It's a ridiculous and incredibly frustrating fact that you can't swing a dead cat in this city without hitting a white guy/Asian girl couple. It's left me scratching my fair haired head. Are Asian women really that much more attractive than us white chicks? What is it that has white guys of all ages going ga-ga over them? And, more importantly, how can we right the issue?

Here is one man's take. I wonder how many other white guys would agree with him?

Logging Off

Nine months since my last post. This is partially due to life happening and partially due to the dating scene not happening. After one year of trying my luck with online dating on Match I've pulled the plug due to a significant amount of duds and no viable candidates showing interest. My subscription has expired and I don't see the point in paying $60/month just to advertise my pathetic ongoing singleness.

One bachelor did add me to his Favourites list just before my subscription was due to expire, so I broke The Rules slightly and gave him my email address advising him I would be going offline soon, and he could message me if he was interested in meeting me, which he did. We met for a brief coffee shortly after, and he told me all about his baggage and how he just separated from his wife of 15 years last November. Buddy needs some downtime, not a rebound relationship, so I'm not expecting much from him at all. Anyhow it's been a week since that coffee and I haven't heard back from him yet, so that's that.

I thought I might try revisiting the speed dating scene, so K and I signed up for a Single in the City event at a local bistro here in Toronto. Of the 14 men I met with only two were remotely interesting...all the others could either barely speak English, or barely speak at all. There were five people interested in dating me, but of course none of them were on my shortlist.

So back to square one. Hopefully now that the warmer weather is here it will motivate the Good Ones out of hibernation and into action and it won't be another nine months before I have something new to report.