if you don't look like your picture chances are I will be drinking heavily until you do

Ah the joys of dating in a virtual world where we can pretend to be whomever we want!

About two months ago I decided to jump back into the game and created a profile on Plenty of Fish - a site I'd never been on before.  A few of my friends had profiles on this site and were urging me to get on there and try my luck for another round.  With significant reservation, albeit a strong desire to meet someone, I relented.

Not surprisingly I've been only handling messages from men who just want to chat, but have no desire to take things offline and actually meet in person.  Of those who did want to meet, most of them were outside my race (although POF doesn't allow you to opt towards a specific nationality I'm only looking for white males) and desperate to find a mate.  Trying to keep an open mind I went for coffee with a couple of these fellows, only to have a boring and awkward meeting during which absolutely no sparks flew and I couldn't wait for it to end.

I did manage to snag a half-decent white guy for two dates, but he stopped contacting me when it looked like things were going really well.  Par for the course it seems!

Mr. Cerebral emailed me for the third time today, and no mention of us meeting in person or getting together. He is in California right now, but that doesn't mean he can't book a date for when he returns. It's looking like he is only after a pen pal, or passing time because he has nothing else to do while he cooling his heels at the hotel between business meetings.

I'm going to wait 48 hours to reply to his last email, and then I won't be responding to any further messages unless there is a request for a get together. Let's see where the chips fall.

One of the people I didn't let go yesterday, J, asked me out in his second email. He has only been in Canada for 3 years, but seems more motived. The only thing that was odd is that he wanted me to decide on where and when we meet instead of making the arrangements, so I have to wonder about his agenda. I turned the tables back and told him what part of the city I worked and that he could meet me somewhere in the vicinity after work one day, and didn't hear back.

Seeing that there are no other eligible bachelors to consider at this time, I may not have much to blog about in the coming days. I'm not too impressed thus far with the suitors I've encountered to date on Match. Last time I was registered there were lots more candidates than now. Not sure why? I may just resurrect my Lavalife profile too to see if there are any viables on that site.

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So far...so good

I registered on Match.com (a site that I have previously patronized with which I am comfortable) and enabled my profile. Almost immediately I received four 'winks', but I do not respond to those. For the uninitiated, 'winks' (or smiles, as they are sometimes called on other dating sites) are things that you receive when someone who sees your profile wants to say HI. However as it takes virtually no effort to send a wink, I do not take them seriously or respond to them. If a man is serious about wanting to get to know me, he will send me an email.

Another problem I have with winks is that more often than not they are sent by someone who is not a paid member. Many sites have it set up so that in order to communicate you must pay a membership fee. Those who pay the fee are generally much more serious than those who do not (read: "browsers'). It is important to weed out the browsers, or timewasters, so you can focus more on the serious people. An excellent example of this happened to me when I tried my luck on eHarmony a couple of years ago when I was previously eDating. I was a paid member for three months and was able to count on one hand the emails I received in that time. The site was full of 'dead profiles' and unpaid members that couldn't communicate with me because they had not paid the membership fee!