"So-and-So wants to meet you"...not

On POF they have a feature called Meet Me that functions and looks a lot like 'Hot or Not'.  Members can view the profile photo of a man or woman and select Yes, No, or Maybe to whether or not they would like to meet that person.  If you choose Yes or Maybe the person in question then receives a notification that So-and-So would like to meet them.

POF tells you that if you spend some time going through and selecting people you'd like to meet it can render better matches to your profile based on your choices, so I went through a few profiles.  Not wanting to appear too interested I refrained from selecting Yes to any of them, opting instead for Maybe.  Then I heard from a couple of these guys, which is how I learned that choosing Maybe is the same as choosing Yes.

To-date there are 125 men that want to 'meet' me...yet not a single one of them have bothered to reach out to me to ask me for a coffee.  So basically it's just a low effort function that allows men an alternative way of interacting passively with women without having to muster up the stones to actually send her a message.

If So-and-So really wants to meet with me and get to know me better, he will find his balls and contact me.  I refuse to be pressured into initiating conversation with a pussy who is afraid to make the first move.

Hmm...plenty of fish, you say?

However I realize this most likely means I will spend many more Saturday nights at home with my cat.

if you don't look like your picture chances are I will be drinking heavily until you do

Ah the joys of dating in a virtual world where we can pretend to be whomever we want!

About two months ago I decided to jump back into the game and created a profile on Plenty of Fish - a site I'd never been on before.  A few of my friends had profiles on this site and were urging me to get on there and try my luck for another round.  With significant reservation, albeit a strong desire to meet someone, I relented.

Not surprisingly I've been only handling messages from men who just want to chat, but have no desire to take things offline and actually meet in person.  Of those who did want to meet, most of them were outside my race (although POF doesn't allow you to opt towards a specific nationality I'm only looking for white males) and desperate to find a mate.  Trying to keep an open mind I went for coffee with a couple of these fellows, only to have a boring and awkward meeting during which absolutely no sparks flew and I couldn't wait for it to end.

I did manage to snag a half-decent white guy for two dates, but he stopped contacting me when it looked like things were going really well.  Par for the course it seems!

Mr. Wrong: this is why I didn't respond to your dating profile

1. Your photo(s):

Kudos for even posting one! However either your face is obscured by large sunglasses or you are merely a speck in the distance, and you can't be seen. Fail.

Your photo features one or more previous girlfriends. Classy, dude.

The photo is obviously very old, evidenced by the dated 80's haircut or popped collar.

You looked pissed off in your photo...what are you going to be like on the date???

You have five zillion photos of yourself that would literally take me hours to browse. Sorry but I'm too busy for that.

2. Your opening line:

Here are a few 'First Impression Fails' that kept me clicking past:

"I need to work on my abs"
"Sorry ladies. I'm a Eunuch...lol"
"No Games!"
"I don't know what I'm doing"
"Looking for my lost shaker of salt"
"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN BRAD PITT... WELL I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HIM"

3. You can't spell:

(Sorry if this seems like I'm picking gnat s**t out of pepper, but it's a BIG peeve of mine)

"funny loveing and careing helpful open mind outgoing good senes of herumy likes the outdoors swim relax at cottage in front of fireplaces or have a coffe on the dock watch the sun set..."

4. You are negative and/or yelling at me:

"I AM NOT INTO HEAD GAMES. I AM LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO IS STRAIGHTFORWARD AND NOT AFRAID TO SPEAK HER MIND. AT THE SAME TIME, SHE SHOULD BE SWEET, KIND, LOVING AND GENTLE. I HOPE I AM NOT ASKING FOR TOO MUCH."

"These sites are crazy...so many people looking for the right person and I often wonder if those searching are serious at all. "

"THIS IS QUITE A PROCESS. TO TRY AND SELL YOURSELF. I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM BEING AUCTIONED OFF ON E-BAY, OR ONE OF THOSE INFORMERCIALS ON TV."

"Looking for someone normal.Good head on thier shoulders.No control freaks...Laid back and relaxed, but not lazy."

My name is C...and I'm a dataholic

OK so I caved and put up a profile on Lavalife too after being disappointed in the calibre and variety of matches I was getting on Match. The site is way different since the last time I was actively eDating, and I'm not sure how crazy I am about the new format. However I'm staying objective.

My only active suitor on Match is the Scientist currently in California on business. We have exchanged the maximum number of emails at this point, and I am not expecting any developments to happen as things now stand, but we shall see.

My Lava profile has been viewed 20 times already and I have one email message from someone rather interesting! He works in film and television and seems to have a pretty fascinating lifestyle. I won't be able to get back to him until Monday now as I don't log onto dating sites from Friday evening until Sunday evening. However this being a holiday weekend I plan on being busy right up until Monday.



Have a great May 2-4!